can 2009 get any worser?

i hate it when i cant control certain things that happen. and the worst thing is that there's nothing i can do. sometimes i really want to just pretend that i dont know anything. i dont know how to feel even.

life isnt even bad at this point. i'm having fun, enjoying life pretty much. but then again, i would rather the stress and all, than such major uncontrollable things that happen.

i used to believe "there can be miracles when you believe" - i miss our team song

but then again, does it really happen. i'm beginning to lose faith (but i know i shouldnt)

was it a right decision to leave next year? should i have chosen to leave this year and leave all these behind. i doubt i can bear to.

can 2009 take a turn for the better? pretty please